It was funny, he had no control but limitless power when he was a slave to his emotion, while he had extremely limited power but absolute control when he was calm. While he lay motionless in his sleep he tried to find a way to bridge the gap, to find a way to connect a higher amount of power with control, and as his mind searched for a way, his mind sent him into a dream.
His childhood hadn't been terribly traumatic at this point, he even was able to greet both his mother and father happily that morning. It was strange, the scene he was watching was well before he found out the truth, but the Xlade at the table was his current self, while his parents, both were partially faded. He couldn't even remember their faces. He woke up in tears, not for the dream, but for the realization that his parents' memories were fading, and soon nothing but the outline would remain, and this upset Xlade deeply.